yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he puts the penis in happiness.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
