bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize