Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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