so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Randomize
