You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
