living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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