Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
