YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
