i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Randomize
