Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
