white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
