all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
