I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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