Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
