I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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