so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
