I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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