just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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