In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Randomize
