the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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