Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
