is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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