he wants to bone in the snuggie
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
