OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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