Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
