on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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