her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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