They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
