That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
