I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
We have started to decorate penises.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So vagazzling was a success
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