your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
