I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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