Pappa wants mamma naked
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
You're a waste of cheezeits
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
this is an emotional support booty call
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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