At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
