Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
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