awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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