Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
