I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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