he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
