I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
