I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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