I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
