I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
