dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm passing your future prison.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
