weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so let's talk penis.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I stole a fireplace last night.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize