Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
