they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
