yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
