It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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