We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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