If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
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