Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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