there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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