That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Randomize
