Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
