Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
