There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
