talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
