I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I touched a dick in church today
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
