something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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