its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
