Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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