there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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