real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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