People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize