in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
